Once you've sorted out the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship with your ex, this is the part where you actually put them to use.
Woo her not as the same loser she broke up with. Get her back by being this awesome dude who's willing to make compromises and hearing her out. Reintroduce yourself to her life and prove to her how this can work out again the second time around not just in words and empty sounding promises but through actions.
This can be divided into three phases.
Phase 1: Testing the Waters
In this modern world, the quickest and most efficient way to make contact is through text. Now we know what you are thinking. How are you going to text her after a period of no contact? Protip, the lengthier your no contact period is, the better. A simple "hey, how are you?" just wouldn't cut it. Instead, you can start off with these kinds of texts:
Reinforce positive memories and drive out the bad ones. You can text along the lines of "So, I just passed by ______. Remember the time when ______? Aw, that had been awesome." Remind her that you are the guy she had fallen in love with!
This is why cultivating yourself is the key. Be that brand new and exciting man she'd want to get to know. Make her feel that you are doing good by saying something like this, "Remember how much you used to love ______? I gave it a go and I can't believe we hadn't tried that before!"
Once you get the ball rolling, develop that rapport with her. Make her crave for your messages and associate texting with you to something exciting. Make her really impatient for you to text.
Be consistent, too. This shows that you are in it to win her back. When you are constant, you are slowly letting her get used to your presence and reintroducing you to her life again.
Phase 2: Keeping It Lowkey
Once she gets used to you, you can start taking the next step by asking her out. And by asking her out, we don't mean elaborate romantic dates. Nope, at this stage, it is better to avoid that. You'll only scare her off.
You can start by just casually hanging out and being her friend. You can text about how much you are craving for this utterly sinful ice cream you've both occasionally indulged in at some point in the relationship. And very, very casually, say that you're going out to grab one and she can come if she wants, too. This not so blatant way of asking her out will undoubtedly increase your chances of her saying yes.
In another case, make her feel needed. You can text about how this one chore a friend or maybe even your parent had tasked you can be such a drag. It will be so boring but hey, if she'd be glad to accompany you, then that would make it so much better. Going on a grocery run, picking up laundry, or even as small as delivering your dog or neighbour's cat to the vet can be a great start.
What's important is to establish a casual and pleasant connection with her.
Phase 3: Proving Your Worth!
When she had finally gotten used to you being around again, this is the time to turn up the notch and prove to her that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work the second time around. Slowly but surely, coax your relationship to move from friends to lovers again gradually.
Once she feels more comfortable with you, ask her out to more romantic dates. Be more direct and open about what you want to happen between you. That sounds easy, but this step is the hardest of all. To convince her to give you another chance, show her through actions that you are the man she'd be glad to fall back in love with.
Remember the introspection we've talked about earlier? This is where you can put your knowledge to the test. What had made her break up with you? Have you been neglecting her? Were you not as spontaneous? Did you take her for granted? Were you too needy? Did you drop the ball and forget important occasions?
Whatever it may be, you must change that impression of hers and turn it into something positive. If you've neglected her, be more expressive and emotionally available. If she doesn't think you listen enough, be the best goddamn listener and treat even the tiniest thing she had shared with you as important. If you haven't been spontaneous enough, surprise her by taking her out on unplanned dates.
Make sure to keep your promises or not make them at all if you are just going to break them.